Yearning for pain and suffering

Why stop pain and suffering ? Since we cant prevent them from happening. Instead how then can we use it for our benefit.

I have since embraced this ‘unpleasantries’. In fact I have begun to enjoy every moment of it. The discomfort, awkwardness, fear, disappointment… all the negativity. Take them all, and paint a smiley face over them.. and i will thank them for their company.

All these negative feelings have given me the opportunity to feel alive, to be human. When I say alive, it allows me to challenge myself to survive, to become better, to achieve something beyond my imagination.

“To be the best you have to be one. Live like one.”

No longer am I chasing praises of people. Instead I am running my own race. However, if I get a companion to pursue the way of excellence, I would thank him/her for being part of the journey. Nonetheless, I am also fine going by this life of mine alone.

My life, my story, my way of telling it.

In order for one to have stories to tell, they must experience them first hand. It cannot be from a 3rd party point of view. It needs to be very personal. Embarrassing moments, prideful ones, the more exciting it is the better it gets. The greater the challenge (I.e. increased fear, high chances of failing etc) the greater the rewards.

So why waste time, putting in the effort on mediocre challenges. The challenge must be impactful, our or my greatest fear.

So what’s your greatest fear? Admit it, accept it and enjoy it. You can say I have the maniac disorder, however this is in fact what life is about.

The journey.. how you want to live out this journey it is really up to you. Your call.

Hopefully you would have discovered your fear and have managed to achieve the realization of thriving amidst uncertainty and fear.

May you grow to become the greatest.

The Nomad


Never look back

Accept where you are and what you are going to be.

I chose the path less taken. It ain’t going to be easy. It ain’t going to be comfortable. I will be met with challenges that I will never expect to be faced with. Going beyond the shores of comfort and pushing the boundaries of the norm. Difficult, tough and challenging, still, I am tasked to thrive through it all. Persevere and achieve.

I will be met with the fears that I once hoped that I will never need to meet. I am to embrace them and to use them to my advantage. If I indulge in the fear, it will lead me to death and suicide henceforth, for the sake of my survival, I need to continually grow, to learn and to progress. If ever one day i am required to do mundane tasks. I am thus working towards death and my life surely will be meaningless. I shall not live meaninglessly.

Instead, I yearn for challenges, fears and pain. The more it is, the better it gets.

What’s your challenge today?

Work on improving oneself so that we can face up to insistent challenges and the ever need to seek for excellence.

Never back down.

Cheers. May you find your challenge so that you will grow towards strength and confidence.

About People: The search of the X Factor

We are all social beings.. it is inevitable that people are part of our lives.

Just yesterday someone shared with me that he is worried about peer evaluation and that jealously may rob him of his chance to be who he wants to be. In the same vein, another person had told me to remain low profile if success ever finds me. I did some serious thinking and have come to a conclusion.

What’s your X factor? Can someone rob you of that unique skill, trait or personality? Or if you allow them to do so?

And so heres my answer.

Find your X factor. Be your X factor. Trust your X factor. Have faith and one day your karma will be recognized. Dont allow others to dictate who you want to be or am going to be. Drive yourself towards the goal of your X factor and keep polishing the skill. Read books, go to conferences, meet other liked minded persons, just take the next step forward. It may take awhile but at least you can wake up the next new day knowing that at least you are working towards your own X factor. It is not going to be easy, if it is easy everyone can be as such that’s why the X factor is so unique, so rewarding and so important for all of us who so wants to do our best during our time.

Our time is limited so tell yourself who you are going to be and what you want to be. No more shall we be led by what other people think. We need to lead ourselves basing on our own righteousness, confidence, self determination and grit towards who we want to become.

When it gets hard, we cannot and should not blame others but instead take to stride that these are challenges and they are here to make us stronger more versatile, more agile. More confident.

Let us make a decision today.

Dont let others steal your X factor, demand that your X factor is solely yours and work towards it. You are different, you are unique, this world is is a mean place and it will do whatever it takes to keep you down permanently but if we allow it to keep us down, it is our choice and not because of anyone else.

To be honest, I do at times contemplate wanting to blame others as it takes much lesser effort then sitting down and to work out a solution. Nonetheless, blaming others would make me weak whereas self realization brings about conviction and confidence, which I choose the latter.

I hope you too can find the X factor of yours and live life to the fullest. I do warn you that it is going to tough. But I can assure you that the more challenging it gets the more feel good you will have once you strive over it.

Cheers and may you find your X Factor.


Motherhood statement: “change is the norm”

Sometimes it’s hard to swallow and comprehend it’s TRUE meaning. In essence, what it suggests is, are you or am I ever ready when it comes to call.

To be honest, it is painful but essential, critical to what we need to achieve in life. Hence never ready but have to make ready. It takes effort.

With the current mindset that I have administered to myself, looking back, I would have done things differently. If there is someone who could just share this mindset with me, I would have agreed with friends and lost fewer. Well this mindset cant guarantee that there will be zero losses. However, it would have minimised the losses. It has granted me freedom from the self blame and has given me conviction towards a certain cause. This is the beauty, the imperfect perfection.

Looking back, I want to thank all the people whom had rejected me, who had given me the chances and opportunity to enjoy of their company. There is a few on my mind that I would really want to seek forgiveness. Nonetheless, I want them to be happy and to live full, meaningful lives.

Have a blessed day and may you find what you seek. Peace out.

Smooth sailing but am hungry for a fight

Life has been better the last few months.

Thought about it.

Tempted to take a back seat and let it roll away like any good old times.

There was a saying… good times always come to an end.

I have decided to take this good O days and to make it even more so memorable.

Working harder, getting hit by more pain and to gain so much more at the end of the day. Always out, looking for a fight. Looking for ways to make the lives of people and of myself even better.

I may face even more disappointment, I may face rejection but all of this are part and parcel of gaining that much more. The pros outweighs the losses.

And yes I think I may have found that secret formula that I am sharing with you.

You may not believe me. Theres a chance that I may suffer a burn out. Yes that may be true, but let me assure you, burn out is good because at least I can call it my own. Like suffering war scars. I have undergone burn outs before but it is the reckoning, the ability to conquer it along with the bitterness that follows which makes me strive to become who I want to become. I dont want to be a sad miserable person, always blaming people around me because they are living a great life and not me? I have accepted my own short comings. I am not good enough AND SO I NEED TO BE BETTER!

This journey that I have taken is along an unbeaten track. A journey that no other have taken. I have decided to call it my own and the more pain that I have conquered, the richer the memories. As I push the frontier of my self development. As I pursue the life of excellence, I will one day achieve something that I can call my own. Something that my daughter can be proud of.

I am a soldier, a father and a husband, fighting for a singular cause. A cause that my family can rejoice in my life that I have left behind. No matter how long or short my time is on this land, at least I know i have lived my life responsibly and i have done my best.

Carpe diem! Seize the day!

Medal of Valor

Putting others before oneself and going beyond the call of duty.

These are the thoughts that resonates in me whilst I acquire the knowledge on the biography of men who had done extraordinary things whilst putting their lives on the line and when called to duty.

Some may think that this is only applicable only during war time but I beg to differ.

Day to day during peace time, no matter where we are, we are in a struggle. In a struggle for survival and in a struggle to maintain what little peace we can get our hands on. We struggle within ourselves to give our best to our loved ones and struggle to see that they get the best treatment ever.

The constant struggle in itself is a reminder that we are at war with ourselves. Constantly reaffirming our actions and putting other before self. Regardless of the consequences. In peacetime we can be reassured that the chances of losing our lives is kept to a minimum if a bad decision is made. However so, a bad decision can cause considerable pain.

So in valor and gallantry, are we ready to accept the consequences of our day to day actions regardless of it being good or bad. Are we able to accept the outcome and move on from it? This is even if the society deems it as taboo. If it is for our personal selves, who will be able to understand our situation?

‘Each of us are made unique. Our lives, destiny and karma are different and special to each one of us’

We cannot expect that another will somehow come to an awareness of our situation after much explaining. This is our journey and ours alone. No point in explaining but living it and working on it, matters. If I am able to save 30 percent of my time working on it and explaining to someone who will never understand, i would have achieved more than less.

Respect oneself before others. If we do not expect others to understand us we shall not expect ourselves to understand another. Henceforth, it is critical that we accept that others are also experiencing their own wars and will do so to fight with courage and valor. It is not about how much the extent or the type of valor, it is whether we have done our part to see through the most challenging tasks of our lives. Even if we know that the odds are not in our favour, we still proceed to do our part to ensure that our loved ones are given the best. The courage and the conviction to proceed as per normal…. is a form of valor.

Let’s do something for honor today.



I am unimportant to this world and to anyone. I have small significance in my efforts for a bigger picture. I am a nobody. Agree! So what! There needs to be an affirmation to make this life fulfilling.

My wife doesn’t love me. My daughter will turn up as a spoilt brat. Great that the missus has decided to take on the blame if that were to happen. Nonetheless my life’s meaningless. What’s there to look forward to?

Yes finally my old adversaries are paying a visit to me. It is a good thing that I have to revisit my convictions. If my family gives up on me what should I be looking forward to? A broken marriage and a lousy pay package.

The mental model:

The broken marriage

Well with a broken marriage it will mean that I have more chance to be more risk adverse. I can be better in what I can do. I can do and live better. Ok sure.. divorce will be a good thing after all… it is because of the missus that I am being held down. So I am happy if it doesn’t work out. I am no longer going to try so hard to hold things together. So be it!

Low pay

With the lost of my family, naturally more time should be spent to be better in what I do and can do. I should devote my 101% to work my ass off to increase my human capital and confidence.

And so, I welcome the divorce so that I can focus my whole in my life and no longer waste my time in insignificant things like trying to make my wife and daughter happy which will not ever happen. Well as a father I do at times feel sad and miss these days. But all well, i accept my fate and believe that the wife is difficult and she is always looking for someone who earns millions..

I am insignificant but bring it on. I am no longer fearful. I will not let fear take me on and rule me. If this blog is opened for nothing so be it. The well being of my daughter is my wife’s and no longer mine.

Moving forward

Never look back. Whatever you do never regret your actions. This is one of the fundamentals of grit.

There is this tendency for one to indulge in self pity.

But what if.. just what if… we avoid this tendency and focus our 101% of our efforts into our decisions made today? Regardless of the outcome and accept the consequences ?

Shrouded in uncertainties, it creates adventure. In adventures and challenges, we find our resolve and confidence.

May we all, through difficulties, find appreciation in the beauty of living and create that mountain we can lean on.

Have a lovely evening.

The Maniac syndrome

Yesterday, I was tested. Threats ran through my mind, I may lose my job, I will burn bridges..

The answer… i accepted this path and its consequences. Yes bring it on. I do not have any regrets.

Fail to do better. Do more to make more mistakes so that i can grow and learn. The courage to jump into the pit so that I can find my own resolve, it is probably a critical requirement for my survival. No longer would I depend on whether people liked me or my pleasant demeanour.

My work, my knowledge will be testiment to who I am and what I can do.

I will not depend on the environment. Instead with the path that I carve out for myself. More pain more gain.


More pain more gain

Take the war to where it hurts most.

When fear hits, let it hurt even more.

Through fear and terror.. may one find true strength and courage to go through it all.

The more I am afraid of doing something, the more I would want to do it.

I have gotten someone to be part of my team. Someone who is widely feared by many but may prove useful to the cause of the whole organization.

If i fail because of this person. If the project stops and is unable to proceed forward because of this person. Then somewhere along the line must have gone wrong. It will help us to keep focus to the main objective. It may be tough but it is definitely good.

As the user, her presence adds on great value to the cause. For both at the National level and at my company’s level. So why should I fear her? She is doing a favour for us and for the entire organization.

Although the feedback that i have gotten is negative about her. Although it will be difficult I will need to practice more faith and patience. Lots of it.

This may be a career ending move. I may somehow become enemy number one. I need to see this for myself. That I have tried and in doing so if i fail. Then yes at least i have tried.

Bon voyage my friend and I hope to see you on the other side may it be for the worst or for the best.

Dear God my future is in your hands.

Peace out.